Sex in the senior years

AGEING DOES not diminish the need for intimacy and connection. While physical and emotional changes will occur, the desire for fulfilling relationship experiences remains.

Relationship and marriage counsellor, Reverend Dr Stevenson Samuels, highlights the crucial role sex plays in relationship bonding. He explained that during sex, chemicals like oxytocin and vasopressin are released, fostering a deeper connection between partners. This is especially vital for seniors who may experience feelings of loneliness as their families evolve and careers come to an end.

“Sex is important for persons who are seniors, because in this stage they experience emptiness, especially when the family is gone,” Dr Samuels said.

The relationship counsellor explained that frequently, it is family members like children who have kept marriages intact. However, once they have moved out and the couple becomes empty nesters, the relationship may become vulnerable. “Sex can alleviate the tension, anxiety, and void that remains,” he added.

Samuels further noted that with more free time, intimate bonds can provide stimulation that compensates for the loss of engagement from work and connections. “During their retirement years, individuals may experience a sense of loss due to non-employment,” he said.

Dr Samuels pointed out the impact of hormonal changes on sexual desire, particularly the decline in testosterone levels as individuals age. Testosterone is a hormone that plays a crucial role in regulating various bodily functions, including libido or sex drive.

While testosterone is often associated with men, women also produce testosterone, although generally in smaller amounts than men. Testosterone is primarily produced in the testicles in men, and the ovaries and adrenal glands in women. In women, testosterone plays a role in maintaining muscle mass, bone density, sex drive, vaginal health, and overall wellbeing.

“You find that the sex drive you have at 25, will not be the same at age 80. However, if it is possible, still have sex. It builds bond and attraction between a couple,” Dr Samuels said.

REAL STORIES OF JOY

Sixty-year-old Rose Hunter is grateful that she has a very active and healthy sex life with her nearly 70-year-old spouse. “Just the thought of still being able to do it and still being able to enjoy it gives me joy.”

Hunter shared that for her, sex in her senior years makes her feel loved and strengthens the communication in her marriage. She acknowledges that seniors, though not as young as before, still desires to feel adored in their special way.

“Though I enjoy sex in this stage of my life, there are still some challenges. I do experience some pains because I am not young anymore,” she laughed. Certain sex positions can no longer be dared due to physical challenges, but that does not stop her and her hubby from having fun in the bedroom.

Clifford Wright, a 70-year-old, echoed similar sentiments. “Sex was meant to be and so I will enjoy it while I can,” Wright said. He was quick to note that he experiences no challenges in the bedroom, and intimacy has improved the bond within his marriage.

“Senior people should embrace this time in their life. Yes, we are getting older but that does not change a thing. Sex keeps the spice in the marriage,” he said.

However, not every senior experiences the same enthusiasm. Eighty-year-old Edith Robinson shared that sex is no longer enjoyable for her due to physical changes and entering menopause. “It is too painful now. Ever since I turned 40, menopause changed a lot of things for me, so I don’t have sex as much anymore and I don’t enjoy it like back in the days,” she said.

Robinson revealed that medical examinations such as Pap smears are painful for her, and are an uncomfortable reminder of why she has not been more sexually active at this stage in life.

SOURCE: Golden Designs Blog, a subsidiary of Golden Designs. You can email: goldendesigns60@gmail.com, or read their blog at www.goldendesigns.org.