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When Ann-Marie Seebaran was diagnosed with breast cancer 22 years ago, the path to recovery felt insurmountable. As a single mother, the ordeal tested her spirit to its absolute limits, ultimately redefining how she viewed life itself.
Today, at 69, Ann-Marie is a vision of vitality—vibrant in personality and in every step. Yet this natural vigour faced a sudden, terrifying threat in October 2004.
“I started to lose weight and [had] hair loss. On top of that, tiredness,” Ann-Marie told Guardian Media.
“I could not sweep for long. I push a broom two times, three times. Tired. I had to take a rest. Washing the dishes, I wash two plate, three plate, a cup, a spoon, and my arms like, it will just give up.”
A diagnosis that changed everything
Though breast self-examinations were never part of her routine, Ann-Marie eventually discovered a troubling lump in her left breast. She confided in her colleagues at the law firm where she worked as a clerk. They, along with a close relative, urged her to seek medical advice.
Her doctor suspected cancer during the initial visit and ordered a mammogram.
“He examined me and he told me it’s cancer. Stage one, heading to stage two,” Ann-Marie recounted.
It was only upon seeing the outline of the lump on the mammogram image that the full weight of the diagnosis came crashing down on her.
“I went to his washroom and I cried. And within that little time, I saw my life, from the age of about five to that present day at his office—I saw my life flash in front of me.”
Ann-Marie broke the news to her colleagues at Lynette Seebaran and Company, who immediately rallied around her, rushing to her home with warmth and support.
At 47, the news plunged her into deep anxiety. Though her young son was approaching adulthood, the agony of potentially leaving him behind haunted her.
The decision was made that Ann-Marie would undergo a lumpectomy, a breast-conserving surgery to remove the affected tissue.
The physical and emotional
toll of treatment
While the operation went smoothly, the chemotherapy that followed in December unleashed a brutal physical and emotional ordeal. Though her oncologist had warned her of potential side effects, Ann-Marie suffered symptoms at their most extreme.
She shared that she endured severe bouts of constipation, violent diarrhoea and agonising body aches that wore her down to the bone.
“When I sleeping in the night, I would wake up in pain. You know, they say there’s 206 bones in your body. Well, I thought I had 2006 bones because every joint and every bone was paining me. It was so horrible.”
To make matters worse, painful sores erupted across her mouth. Alarm bells rang, and her dentist referred her to a specialist out of fear that the cancer had spread. Thankfully, the sores were an extreme side effect of treatment, though that brought little comfort amid her intense suffering.
But for Ann-Marie, it was losing her hair that truly shattered her heart.
“When the doctor warned that the hair gonna fall out, I took it lightly. It’s such a different story when I passed my hand and see the hair really come out. And then it started to come out in clumps. My hair was black, my hair was thick. I really wasn’t comfortable going bald.”
A single mother determined to keep going
Without parents or siblings nearby, Ann-Marie relied heavily on her friends, colleagues and employer. Her firm proved to be a lifeline, allowing her time to recover after chemotherapy while continuing to pay her full salary. Despite this support, she pushed herself to work whenever her strength allowed.
“Being a single parent and doing chemo, you know I had to get up and go to work. My employer, she allowed me to take whatever time it takes for my body to heal and come back out. But most of the time, when my body was ready to go back out to work, in the next two, three days, it was time for another chemo session.”
Chemotherapy ended in May 2005, followed by radiation a month later, but recovery was a slow, agonising process. Weakness clung to her, along with the constant, shadowy fear of a relapse.
Over time, however, she began to reclaim her life.
Living beyond the diagnosis
Since completing treatment in 2005, Ann-Marie has remained in remission and continued to attend regular medical check-ups. However, the fear of another cancer diagnosis sometimes resurfaces whenever she experiences an unfamiliar pain or health concern.
Today, she channels her experience into uplifting others through the T&T Cancer Society, reminding patients that fear is a natural visitor but should not become a permanent home.
Her resilience has even touched strangers far beyond the medical community.
“There was a man, he said, ‘I have a brother who never liked to work, but when your story came out, and he read that part where you had to work and still be doing treatment.’ He said that he got up and he went and got a job,” Ann-Marie said.
“I would tell women, don’t fight your fears. Your emotions, don’t fight it. But do not stay in that space. You go through your fear, you go through your loneliness, you go through your negative thoughts, but try and don’t sit there,” Ann-Marie said.
Finding joy and choosing life
Now in retirement, Ann-Marie savours the vibrant moments of everyday life—reading, cooking, hiking and dressing up in stylish clothes, elegant shoes and fine jewellery. Her heart belongs to her family. She shares a home with her son and 16-year-old grandson, Kalem, whom she calls her absolute pride and joy.
Through it all, she holds one piece of advice above the rest for women walking this path.
“Yes, you may have good reasons as to why you want to live. But make sure you want to live and do it for yourself.”
English (US) ·