International Day of the Child: Thirteen is still thirteen

On October 11, International Day of the Girl Child, we celebrate girls’ ambitions and speak about their rights. The well-behaved academic is easy to celebrate, but the frightened, defiant or confused adolescent also needs our support.

The recent recovery of a missing 13-year-old girl in the company of an adult man has stirred understandable alarm. A video identifying her then became part of the public discussion.

We should be grateful for work that brings a missing child back, but gratitude should not require us to stop thinking. The facts of this particular case belong with investigators and safeguarding professionals.

Award-winning search teams expend time, money and effort. No sensible account of child protection asks adults to abandon discipline. Of course, serious wrongdoing requires a definitive response.

However, a child’s entitlement to protection cannot depend on whether we approve of her behaviour. At 13, the systems supporting planning, impulse control and judgement are still developing. Teenagers can reason impressively in one setting and act rashly in another.

In puberty, physical development can run ahead of emotional maturity. Menstruation, clothes or sexual curiosity tell us nothing about whether a girl can manage an adult’s influence. A confident answer can merely be a façade.

An adult may control transport, shelter, money, communication or access to other people. A child can describe affection and still be vulnerable to exploitation. Those possibilities cannot be settled by asking whether she went willingly.

In some cases, “grooming” works through attention, gifts and secrecy. A child may defend the person harming her, fear losing them or worry about what disclosure will do to the family.

As we learnt during COVID and HIV, public scolding is a poor substitute for a careful assessment. Blaming and shaming drive people underground. Some run from family conflict, abuse and manipulation.

A proper medical evaluation begins with safety and dignity. Where abuse is suspected, trained professionals should assess injuries, sexual health needs and psychological wellbeing, explaining what they are doing and why. Care after sexual assault is time-sensitive, so assessment should not wait for a complete criminal investigation. Emergency contraception and screening for sexually transmitted infections should be considered. Chlamydia is often silent but could affect future reproductive health. It may be an ideal opportunity to discuss HPV vaccination to prevent cervical cancer.

Childhood trauma can affect sleep, appetite, concentration, mood, school attendance and relationships. Some children develop anxiety, depression or post-traumatic symptoms. Others show distress through anger, withdrawal or behaviour that is misinterpreted as insolence. Appropriate support can help her return to learning, friendship and the ordinary pleasures of growing up.

UNICEF’s reporting guidance places children’s dignity, privacy and protection from harm at the centre of coverage. A girl’s future classmates, employers and neighbours do not need a searchable record of her worst day. We can discuss the failure of a system without making a child carry the publicity. We can demand an investigation without staging one in the comments.

Girls’ health deserves attention well beyond the cases that make headlines. A girl missing school because of severe menstrual pain needs an evaluation. Heavy bleeding, shortness of breath, palpitations and fatigue may warrant investigation for anaemia. Athletes need proper nutrition, and any teenager with irregular periods should be screened for hormonal disorders such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).

Thirst, frequent urination, tiredness and unexplained weight loss require urgent assessment for Type 1 diabetes. Those symptoms, accompanied by vomiting, abdominal pain, deep, rapid breathing or drowsiness, may indicate an emergency called diabetic ketoacidosis.

Persistent sadness, fear or self-harm require a medical response. Asking about suicidal thoughts does not plant the idea. Girls with intellectual disabilities, autism or other conditions may face additional barriers to communication and care. Persistent restriction, bingeing, vomiting or excessive concern about weight could indicate an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia nervosa. These have deleterious effects on physical health and can coexist with other mental health issues.

If she tells you something worrying, listen calmly. Thank her for telling you. Do not blame her, demand a detailed account or confront a suspected abuser yourself. Seek professional safeguarding help immediately. Schools must increase sex education and make that help accessible.

The World Health Organization’s guidance emphasises safety, choices and respect. A clinician should explain, in language the child understands, when information must be shared to protect her.

Political leaders must choose language that helps adults respond wisely. We can demand accountability from children while keeping their developmental needs intact. We can also support search teams but demand that recovery procedures preserve dignity.

A 13-year-old may need correction, supervision, treatment and a thorough investigation of what happened. However, we must remember that she remains 13 through all of it.